A la prochaine Chef Chuck

Sigh.  I just clicked the cancel button for my dinner reservation at Le Bremner Restaurant in Montreal.  Feel free to take it – 6pm Friday May 10.  It is supposed to be “ahhhhmaaazing”.  Here at home, we love Chef Chuck Hughes.  We watch his show.  We cook from his book.  We may even have a celebrity crush on him.  And by we, I am referring to my girls.  (And myself.) 

I’m fortunate in that my girls will pretty much try anything.  R is acting a bit more like a typical kid due to the influence of her peers (why, oh, why didn’t I homeschool?!) by having an exaggerated reaction to things she doesn’t like.  But R’s version of an exaggerated reaction is probably quite subdued compared to most.  And there is very little she doesn’t like in terms of food.  In fact, all three girls are growing quite adventurous in their tastes.  Add to that, the excitement of being in Chuck’s restaurant, being in Montreal, getting all-fancy…the evening holds the promise of fabulous memory-making!

The reality is, while our recent dinner at Chef Lynn Crawford’s Ruby WatchCo was a huge success in terms of a family dining experience – my girls dressed up, they were excited, they stayed put, they loved the food, they got to meet the chef!! – it was a long night for the littlest one.  Baby C, who will continue to be referred to as such until she actually stands up and starts walking which should be any day now, loves food but is really not a fan of being constrained in a highchair with only a spoon to play with.  I completely dropped the ball by not packing anything else for her to play with.  While this did save Mark from having to play a 90 minute game of  “Uh oh I dropped that.  Will you please pick it up Daddy?”.  It also resulted in her becoming bored.  Thankfully, she allowed Mark to distract her with people watching, And with a bedtime of 7pm but a dinner reservation of 6pm we were racing the clock as it was.  Except.  It’s kinda hard to race a clock in a busy restaurant serving three courses.  Three delicious, melt in your mouth, divine courses.  Three courses that they happily served up free to my children and as soon as they came off the line.  The last course being a scrumptious butterscotch pudding they put a candle in L’s birthday. 

I’m fairly certain, a multi-course meal at Le Bremner is going to take more than an hour.  Add to that, the fact that we will have been wandering around the old city all day, I doubt very much Baby C will take kindly to being strapped into a high chair after being strapped into a stroller (again – learn to walk!). I don’t want to race through a meal at Le Bremner.  I don’t want to watch Mark stalk off with Baby C under his arm, telling me “It’s fine.” When it really isn’t, as he has to abandon his meal and go back to our hotel in Montreal.  That would not be such a fabulous memory. 

So instead, we will lower our dining standards, not to accommodate their palate or but rather the temperament of our youngest because no one wants to drop serious coin on a meal they have to rush through.  Or, one I spill all over myself as not so little Baby C breastfeeds at the table.  On the other hand, Mark thinks maybe we'd get to meet the chef once word got around that I was flashing serious boob. 

A la prochaine Chef Chuck! 

An open letter to Deb Matthews, Ontario Minister of Health

This past Friday marked two years since Ontario Midwives started negotiations for a new contract with the Ontario government. They started talks almost six months before their contract expired. The end date of the contract came and went at 11:59om March 31, 2011.
Did the midwives abruptly stop catching babies? No.
Did they transfer care of their clients? No.
Did they stop taking clients due after that day? No.
Have midwives, in fact, gone on to catch 25,000(!!!) babies and care for them and their mamas? Yes.
Have midwifes rallied to support refugee healthcare? Yes.
Have they faced obstacles and red tape when trying to gain practice privileges in hospitals across the province and yet continued to care for as many pregnant women as their limited numbers allow? Yes.
Have midwives rallied and successfully petitioned for birth centres in Ontario because that is what their clients need and want? Yes.
Have midwives saved the provincial government thousands of dollars in healthcare costs by supporting low risk births at home; supporting women and their families in successful breastfeeding; providing postpartum care to mothers and babies? All proven methods of health cost savings measures and long term positive effects? Yes.
Have midwives cut back the number of clients they accept or their 24-7 availability? No.
Have midwives changed their model of care to support more clients for more billable hours in order to manipulate the system? No!
Midwives in Ontario continue to provide care to women, newborns, and their families at the utmost professional level with knowledge, compassion, and integrity.
Midwives do not bring to the table the personal costs of their profession, their passion; but rather, they are asking for a fair and just evaluation of the work they do, the positive impact they have, and in politico speak: the effect they have on the bottom line!
On Friday, a social media campaign was launched to ask you, the Ontario Minister of Health to resume negotiations and come #backtothetable with @ontariomidwives. Photographs of babies born without a contract, pregnant bellies due without a contract, and midwifery students getting ready to enter the workforce without a contract were sent to the minister via twitter. Over 140 retweets plus 130 original tweets were sent in addition to countless emails, Facebook messages, and the viewing of a photo gallery video peaked at over 1000 by the end of the weekend.
And your response, which can only be interpreted as trite at best, passive-aggressive at worst, was a tweet sent late Sunday saying "Thx 4 tweets.Midwifery is catching.Birthing centres and even more midwives providing care to moms, dads, and babes."
Really? Really? You (Deb Matthews) take two minutes to send a tweet that your PR team probably drafted and then resent because it promotes midwifery in some lame backhanded way and point out that birthing centres are coming? Did you even read ONE of the messages that was sent to you? I mean for pete's sake they were 140 characters or less!! And they all said more or less the same thing, which was, to reiterate: GET BACK TO THE TABLE and renegotiate the long expired contract for Ontario midwives. This is your domain is it not? Mr.McGuinty's resignation is not a factor here, because let's be honest Deb Matthews, you are not the Liberal party's next provincial leader. And if you were, perhaps having 500+ midwives, their clients, their partners, their clients' partners (and FYI, that's partners not just "dads"!), and families, and all of the current and hopeful midwifery students...having all of these people on your side because you managed to finalize a new contract, might be a good thing. I'm just spitballing here, but that seems like a significant number of people to have on your side, or the side of the Liberal party in general. Or, maybe you thought it was ok because those 25,000 babies born since the contract expired can't vote yet. But that's a pretty significant number of babies who won't be there to kiss for an election photo op!
Get back to the table Health Minister. You wouldn't work under uncertain conditions, our doctors, nurses, orderlies, and administrators don't. Ontario Midwives deserve the same amount of respect and compensation. Passion and dedication motivates midwives to work; please, show a modicum of both for your ministry of which midwives are an essential part.
Oh, and for the record, sending a tweet on a Sunday night isn't going to fly under the radar. Technology is odd like that, it's available 24-7. Much like midwives.

A google image search is never as innocent as you claim.

So I sat down tonight to finish my conference presentation. One of two. I thought I'd start with the less formal one, the more personal one. Every night for the last week I've tried to finish it but seven gazillion programs needed to update on the laptop and the netbook and the router was slow and Mark was looking yummy so there was always a distraction.
Tonight started out well enough, no tech issues save a concern about the "quality" of images that was going to pop up given my search terms which included "Wonder Woman tied up" But I digress. I was almost done when poof an image came up, (not of Wonder Woman) and it reminded me of something and bang!!! I was a sobbing blurry eyed mess who ended up curled in a ball around her baby. I was caught off-guard, thinking I had closed the door on any regrets or questions. But seeing a picture of that damn book cover, one we read every night together for months, the girls and I. I felt walloped by what they had-we had-I had missed out on. I doubt it makes much of a difference to L right now. And I'm equally sure if I bring it up to R she too would cry. But I won't being it up and I wouldn't go hug them in their sleep because I don't want to make them sad. I'm not that kind of mama.
And seriously, ultimately I was being very self involved. I couldn't talk to Mark about it as he is not my therapist and while I did spit out the basics of what was making me cry he couldn't have understood how deeply I was aching. I suspect he thought I was reading sad stories online or lamenting not being allowed to have another baby.
The irony is, reading a sad story, linked to by Glennon at Momastery who is just, wow-made me snap out of it. There I was sobbing over my big girls having prepared so well for so long for the homebirth that never was, while someone else was mourning the one year loss of her son. Seriously, I was breathing in the warm milky breath of my baby with two sleeping healthy girls in the other room and I had the nerve to turn into an emotional wreck because we didn't get to have a home birth with the big sisters present?!??!! Studying Midwifery can really screw with your mind and your priorities. Hmmm, I wonder if I can use that as my presentation title?
Also, watch out for those google image searches!

At the drive-in at least someone got to second base.

Last night Mark and I decided to go see a movie. An actual new-ish release on the big screen. Exciting times for parents of a breastfeeding baby who thinks pumped milk in a bottle is only to be used for blowing raspberries! At the suggestion of a friend, we went to the drive in so we could take Baby C with us.

Brilliant right? We raved about the sheer genius of it! What could be easier then leaving our big girls with their awesome aunt, bringing along Baby C and everything she needed in a diaper bag and my boobs?! Mark even remembered a flashlight and a lighter for the bug repelling diffuser (diluted tea tree oil nothing toxic).

As we drove, we were in that happy parent place of astonishment we'd never thought of going to the drive in before and euphoria of two Friday night dates in a row. Baby C wasn't even yelling during the drive. This was so going to be a good night!

We parked; nixed the idea of sitting in the back with the hatch open as we didn't have pillows or blankets; re-parked; grabbed popcorn and drinks; almost dropped said confections; and set ourselves up for almost three hours of Dark Knight Rises. We were even so bold as to make plans for future return trips.

I loved the nostalgic feel from the neon signed snack bar serving the standards but also deep fried pickles and onion rings to the national anthem starting the show and the Looney Tunes cartoon lead-in with no trailers. I loved seeing people in pajamas and questionably shaped bottles hidden in paper bags tucked under camping chairs. Baby C was happy to hang out with us as we waited.

And then it got dark.
And then it got loud.
And then Baby C decided to kick the dials on the console repeatedly switching the station so we'd lose the sound among other things. Make note of this last bit, it is key.

In our delerium, we'd forgotten that Baby C isn't a newborn nor is she a toddler. Newborns are easy. All they need is a boob. Seven month olds? Not so much Toddlers are chatty and get tired but can be distracted with food, games, and snuggles. Seven month olds? Not so much.

Let me cut to the chase in case you haven't already guessed: Baby C hated -with all of her 28" and 24lbs-the drive in! Try fighting that in a small space. She wanted to be in her bed, on her sheepskin, with a soft light glowing and relative quiet. She did not want to be cradled, carried, or rocked. She did not want to lie down in the bucket seat beside me and nurse. What was I, new? Why did I think my child who despises the car would want to spend three hours in it just because she was in my arms? The punching, biting, scratching, kicking, and screaming was giving the surround sound a run for its money. And every time she settled for 30 seconds the action in the movie would rise and the soundtrack would boom! Or, Mark would just have to have a man-ful of popcorn or fumble for a drink. Finally about two hours into the movie-no I'm not exaggerating but yes she only started to act up 45minutes in-she fell asleep. And the truck warning lights all flared, beeped, and died.

Yep. That's right. I was now sitting in a full theatre parking lot/field with a cranky baby finally sleep on top of my exposed chest, my cell phone battery at 20% and my engine light is on. It seems, our beloved baby in her wild thrashing as we passed her back and forth, hit the a/c dial. And we didn't notice because it was on low, already cool from the sunroof being open and loud from her and the movie.

Now, I don't know much about cars but I'm not a mechanic's daughter for nothing. I am also the "wife" of a worst-scenario get silently infuriated guy. So I kept my mouth shut for twenty minutes. Then I called my Dad. Then I called a tow truck. And with two safety nets in place, ample time having passed, I suggested to Mark that this being a drive-in theatre, dead car batteries and/or over heated cars are probably an extremely common occurrence and they probably have a battery and jumper cables. Mark didn't believe me: not about it just being the battery, not about the boost being easy.

It was. And it was.

Obviously, we didn't stay for the second movie.

But the funny thing is, as we were driving home chatting quietly as Baby C had fallen back asleep in her car seat, Mark and I agreed that it had still been a good night. It may not have been very "date-like" between the angry baby and car trouble but at least someone got to second base...it just happened to be the baby. There's breast milk all over the windshield to prove it.

When was the last time you went to the drive-in? And who were you with?