Over on the yummy mummy club a teacher "dished" about five things he/she would like to tell parents but can't. Here are five things I'd like to tell my kid's teacher,(Keep in mind she's only going into Grade 1 and some of it is for L's teacher next year when she starts.):
1. Can we stop with the head gear and costumes?
Every year, multiple times a year, we get the bulletin from school saying some kids have lice. We all know it's not a personal hygiene issue. But you know what doesn't help? Having headgear and costumes kids share. What's the point of my tormenting my kid with tea tree oil, back combing her hair, and drilling her about not sharing brushes and hats if you make it part of class?
2. Just because my kid is smart doesn't mean she can be overlooked
R was too smart for SK. So she spent a lot of time waving her hand in the air only to be overlooked for another child to give the answer. All the time. Every kid needs encouragement and opportunity. It's defeating to see her not bother to try anymore after being ignored too many times.
Oh and while we are talking about it, please give your attention to the "not cute" kids and direct your teaching assistants and student volunteers to do the same. Drives me crazy!
3.Your coffee breath stinks and it's rude
This is in retaliation to a teacher's comment (online not to my kid!) about kids not bringing smelly lunches like garlic or fish. Besides the obvious racism, it seems hypocritical given the stale burnt coffee many teachers sip throughout the day. Which is also rude because my kid can't have a cup of milk sitting in her desk all day!
4. I'm not interested in your scheduled breaks.
I'm so tired of the archaic practice of rushing kids through lunch then shoving them out the door to play so that teachers can get a break. Listen, I couldn't spend all day with 28 kids without breaks but for lunch hour to be forty minutes after morning recess and only consist of 20 minutes to get,consume, and put away lunch. That's an unreasonable request and you would go on strike if it was demanded of you. Oh and by the by, how about actually paying attention to what's going on in the school yard when you are on duty? I don't get to ignore my kid until they are bleeding or crying, you shouldn't either.
5.Stop
Stop parking in the spots closest to the doors. Stop trying to put together the best concert ever and just relax and have fun with the kids! Stop sending the kids outside when it's -30 or +35. Stop assuming every kid has a mom and a dad to make gifts for. Stop scheduling shows at the last minute during the day because we work too. Stop assuming there is extra money for all of the "extras. But most importantly, stop forgetting that this is more than a job, it's a vocation.
I have a much more extensive rant on the horrors of the full day kindergarten program R was in for SK but I'm trying to move on. Stay tuned to see if it goes up.
What do you wish you could tell the teacher?
Monday, 20 August 2012
Saturday, 18 August 2012
At the drive-in at least someone got to second base.
Last night Mark and I decided to go see a movie. An actual new-ish release on the big screen. Exciting times for parents of a breastfeeding baby who thinks pumped milk in a bottle is only to be used for blowing raspberries! At the suggestion of a friend, we went to the drive in so we could take Baby C with us.
Brilliant right? We raved about the sheer genius of it! What could be easier then leaving our big girls with their awesome aunt, bringing along Baby C and everything she needed in a diaper bag and my boobs?! Mark even remembered a flashlight and a lighter for the bug repelling diffuser (diluted tea tree oil nothing toxic).
As we drove, we were in that happy parent place of astonishment we'd never thought of going to the drive in before and euphoria of two Friday night dates in a row. Baby C wasn't even yelling during the drive. This was so going to be a good night!
We parked; nixed the idea of sitting in the back with the hatch open as we didn't have pillows or blankets; re-parked; grabbed popcorn and drinks; almost dropped said confections; and set ourselves up for almost three hours of Dark Knight Rises. We were even so bold as to make plans for future return trips.
I loved the nostalgic feel from the neon signed snack bar serving the standards but also deep fried pickles and onion rings to the national anthem starting the show and the Looney Tunes cartoon lead-in with no trailers. I loved seeing people in pajamas and questionably shaped bottles hidden in paper bags tucked under camping chairs. Baby C was happy to hang out with us as we waited.
And then it got dark.
And then it got loud.
And then Baby C decided to kick the dials on the console repeatedly switching the station so we'd lose the sound among other things. Make note of this last bit, it is key.
In our delerium, we'd forgotten that Baby C isn't a newborn nor is she a toddler. Newborns are easy. All they need is a boob. Seven month olds? Not so much Toddlers are chatty and get tired but can be distracted with food, games, and snuggles. Seven month olds? Not so much.
Let me cut to the chase in case you haven't already guessed: Baby C hated -with all of her 28" and 24lbs-the drive in! Try fighting that in a small space. She wanted to be in her bed, on her sheepskin, with a soft light glowing and relative quiet. She did not want to be cradled, carried, or rocked. She did not want to lie down in the bucket seat beside me and nurse. What was I, new? Why did I think my child who despises the car would want to spend three hours in it just because she was in my arms? The punching, biting, scratching, kicking, and screaming was giving the surround sound a run for its money. And every time she settled for 30 seconds the action in the movie would rise and the soundtrack would boom! Or, Mark would just have to have a man-ful of popcorn or fumble for a drink. Finally about two hours into the movie-no I'm not exaggerating but yes she only started to act up 45minutes in-she fell asleep. And the truck warning lights all flared, beeped, and died.
Yep. That's right. I was now sitting in a full theatre parking lot/field with a cranky baby finally sleep on top of my exposed chest, my cell phone battery at 20% and my engine light is on. It seems, our beloved baby in her wild thrashing as we passed her back and forth, hit the a/c dial. And we didn't notice because it was on low, already cool from the sunroof being open and loud from her and the movie.
Now, I don't know much about cars but I'm not a mechanic's daughter for nothing. I am also the "wife" of a worst-scenario get silently infuriated guy. So I kept my mouth shut for twenty minutes. Then I called my Dad. Then I called a tow truck. And with two safety nets in place, ample time having passed, I suggested to Mark that this being a drive-in theatre, dead car batteries and/or over heated cars are probably an extremely common occurrence and they probably have a battery and jumper cables. Mark didn't believe me: not about it just being the battery, not about the boost being easy.
It was. And it was.
Obviously, we didn't stay for the second movie.
But the funny thing is, as we were driving home chatting quietly as Baby C had fallen back asleep in her car seat, Mark and I agreed that it had still been a good night. It may not have been very "date-like" between the angry baby and car trouble but at least someone got to second base...it just happened to be the baby. There's breast milk all over the windshield to prove it.
When was the last time you went to the drive-in? And who were you with?
Brilliant right? We raved about the sheer genius of it! What could be easier then leaving our big girls with their awesome aunt, bringing along Baby C and everything she needed in a diaper bag and my boobs?! Mark even remembered a flashlight and a lighter for the bug repelling diffuser (diluted tea tree oil nothing toxic).
As we drove, we were in that happy parent place of astonishment we'd never thought of going to the drive in before and euphoria of two Friday night dates in a row. Baby C wasn't even yelling during the drive. This was so going to be a good night!
We parked; nixed the idea of sitting in the back with the hatch open as we didn't have pillows or blankets; re-parked; grabbed popcorn and drinks; almost dropped said confections; and set ourselves up for almost three hours of Dark Knight Rises. We were even so bold as to make plans for future return trips.
I loved the nostalgic feel from the neon signed snack bar serving the standards but also deep fried pickles and onion rings to the national anthem starting the show and the Looney Tunes cartoon lead-in with no trailers. I loved seeing people in pajamas and questionably shaped bottles hidden in paper bags tucked under camping chairs. Baby C was happy to hang out with us as we waited.
And then it got dark.
And then it got loud.
And then Baby C decided to kick the dials on the console repeatedly switching the station so we'd lose the sound among other things. Make note of this last bit, it is key.
In our delerium, we'd forgotten that Baby C isn't a newborn nor is she a toddler. Newborns are easy. All they need is a boob. Seven month olds? Not so much Toddlers are chatty and get tired but can be distracted with food, games, and snuggles. Seven month olds? Not so much.
Let me cut to the chase in case you haven't already guessed: Baby C hated -with all of her 28" and 24lbs-the drive in! Try fighting that in a small space. She wanted to be in her bed, on her sheepskin, with a soft light glowing and relative quiet. She did not want to be cradled, carried, or rocked. She did not want to lie down in the bucket seat beside me and nurse. What was I, new? Why did I think my child who despises the car would want to spend three hours in it just because she was in my arms? The punching, biting, scratching, kicking, and screaming was giving the surround sound a run for its money. And every time she settled for 30 seconds the action in the movie would rise and the soundtrack would boom! Or, Mark would just have to have a man-ful of popcorn or fumble for a drink. Finally about two hours into the movie-no I'm not exaggerating but yes she only started to act up 45minutes in-she fell asleep. And the truck warning lights all flared, beeped, and died.
Yep. That's right. I was now sitting in a full theatre parking lot/field with a cranky baby finally sleep on top of my exposed chest, my cell phone battery at 20% and my engine light is on. It seems, our beloved baby in her wild thrashing as we passed her back and forth, hit the a/c dial. And we didn't notice because it was on low, already cool from the sunroof being open and loud from her and the movie.
Now, I don't know much about cars but I'm not a mechanic's daughter for nothing. I am also the "wife" of a worst-scenario get silently infuriated guy. So I kept my mouth shut for twenty minutes. Then I called my Dad. Then I called a tow truck. And with two safety nets in place, ample time having passed, I suggested to Mark that this being a drive-in theatre, dead car batteries and/or over heated cars are probably an extremely common occurrence and they probably have a battery and jumper cables. Mark didn't believe me: not about it just being the battery, not about the boost being easy.
It was. And it was.
Obviously, we didn't stay for the second movie.
But the funny thing is, as we were driving home chatting quietly as Baby C had fallen back asleep in her car seat, Mark and I agreed that it had still been a good night. It may not have been very "date-like" between the angry baby and car trouble but at least someone got to second base...it just happened to be the baby. There's breast milk all over the windshield to prove it.
When was the last time you went to the drive-in? And who were you with?
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
My Daughter, to the Core
When R was born everyone said she looked like Mark. Except both sets of grandparents. But that is another story.
From an anthropological perspective children generally look like their father at birth-it's reassuring I suppose.
R is now six and probably has fairly equal characteristics from both of us. Physical characteristics that is. Her personality is very similar to mine. So much so that even though she is only six; we have talked about how we will fight when she's a bit older because of it. But we will forgive each other easily and love each other deeply because of it. Mark also tells me he can see me in her when she's interrupted while reading or annoyed about something, that the look in her eyes is all mine. We share quite a few interests and maybe too many personality traits from being a complete mess if we are hungry, to hating the humidity but also our love to talk, eat, and read. And her big smile, that's me too!
But a classic example of how R and I are alike occurred today: R and L were taking a cooking class. They had just sat down after standing in a slow moving hand-washing line of 16 kids. A boy at another table was playing with a toy car. He overshot and it went flying landing underneath the table we were at. His mother looked at my girls expecting them to get it. Neither one moved. I was holding a squirmy Baby C so I wasn't going to budge either. The mom got up to walk over and she moved slowly still thinking one of my girls would get it especially after her son asked R to get it. The look in R's face basically said this "Are you freaking kidding me?! I'm not going to crawl under the table in this skirt and get my hands dirty. Hands that I just freaking stood in line -forever-to wash. Because you decided playing cars when we are here to cook, was a good idea. Seriously. And why can't you get it anyway? Or at least ask. Though my response is going to be to ask you if you're new."
And yes, she conveyed this all with a look. I know she did because not only is it exactly what I was thinking-except with a different f word in mind and maybe leading with the 'are you new?' -but she turned to me and gave me this all knowing smile.
That's my kid and we are so going to fight when she's older but at least I'll know exactly what she's thinking!
Are your kids like you? In looks or attitude? Does it make it easier or harder?
From an anthropological perspective children generally look like their father at birth-it's reassuring I suppose.
R is now six and probably has fairly equal characteristics from both of us. Physical characteristics that is. Her personality is very similar to mine. So much so that even though she is only six; we have talked about how we will fight when she's a bit older because of it. But we will forgive each other easily and love each other deeply because of it. Mark also tells me he can see me in her when she's interrupted while reading or annoyed about something, that the look in her eyes is all mine. We share quite a few interests and maybe too many personality traits from being a complete mess if we are hungry, to hating the humidity but also our love to talk, eat, and read. And her big smile, that's me too!
But a classic example of how R and I are alike occurred today: R and L were taking a cooking class. They had just sat down after standing in a slow moving hand-washing line of 16 kids. A boy at another table was playing with a toy car. He overshot and it went flying landing underneath the table we were at. His mother looked at my girls expecting them to get it. Neither one moved. I was holding a squirmy Baby C so I wasn't going to budge either. The mom got up to walk over and she moved slowly still thinking one of my girls would get it especially after her son asked R to get it. The look in R's face basically said this "Are you freaking kidding me?! I'm not going to crawl under the table in this skirt and get my hands dirty. Hands that I just freaking stood in line -forever-to wash. Because you decided playing cars when we are here to cook, was a good idea. Seriously. And why can't you get it anyway? Or at least ask. Though my response is going to be to ask you if you're new."
And yes, she conveyed this all with a look. I know she did because not only is it exactly what I was thinking-except with a different f word in mind and maybe leading with the 'are you new?' -but she turned to me and gave me this all knowing smile.
That's my kid and we are so going to fight when she's older but at least I'll know exactly what she's thinking!
Are your kids like you? In looks or attitude? Does it make it easier or harder?
Monday, 6 August 2012
Taking a moment
For a brief moment today I started to feel pressed for time. It was a bit of a surprise to me, this feeling that has been absent since I finished my last course in school back in December. During the school term I felt pressed for time constantly. Mark was on full time parent duty two or three days a week while he worked more then full time hours. And I had to do all the full time mama stuff while balancing two very intense courses and growing a baby. It would be an understatement to say that I felt like I was barely getting by. I don't think I spoke to a single non-school friend; and I struggled to find time to get everything I wanted to do done. And ended up learning to just get what I had to done!
So this afternoon as the long weekend started to draw to an end I was caught off guard at my feelings of frustration. I was trying to look for work online; I was checking my calendar for class registration info; I still needed to finish editing a paper and finally start an intimidating reading list for a certificate I am hoping to pursue. But Baby C had other ideas. Her next set of teeth are coming through and she is in a lot of pain. I can tell because her little mouth is pulled so tightly and she's biting everything! L and R wanted to tell me about everything they were doing or thinking and Mark was getting some much needed gardening done. I wanted my time!
But as I stroked my baby's hair,applied ointment to L's latest scraped knee and listened to R rave about how nice daddy had been to let her go swimming again making it the best holiday Monday ever!!- I knew that it wasn't resentment for not being able to find time that I was feeling. It was in fact, resentment for needing to do all of those things that were crowding out my enjoyment of my girls.
And so I give you three magical mama moments that I was truly blessed to have experienced this weekend:
I want to cherish forever that moment when Baby C startled in her sleep, eyes flying open and then a soft smile lit up her face when she saw I was still there and she settled into sleep again. All the while I listened to my big girls laugh and chase each other outside playing the most non-sensical games.
I want to never ever forget the pure bliss I experienced waking up from a rare Sunday afternoon nap with two girls still asleep wrapped around me, my biggest girl reading at my feet-her long legs resting in mine, and Mark squeezed into the last few spare inches in the bed also reading.
I want to remember splashing in the pool with Mark holding Baby C;R and L squealing with laughter as we chased each other in the water with squeaky spray toys. And their cheers of encouragement as I swam without a flotation device to the ladder in the deep end.
The long weekend is over and I have all week to try to get to my to-do list. But more importantly I am truly blessed to have all week to spend with my girls because Mark goes to work for us. I am a lucky lady!
So this afternoon as the long weekend started to draw to an end I was caught off guard at my feelings of frustration. I was trying to look for work online; I was checking my calendar for class registration info; I still needed to finish editing a paper and finally start an intimidating reading list for a certificate I am hoping to pursue. But Baby C had other ideas. Her next set of teeth are coming through and she is in a lot of pain. I can tell because her little mouth is pulled so tightly and she's biting everything! L and R wanted to tell me about everything they were doing or thinking and Mark was getting some much needed gardening done. I wanted my time!
But as I stroked my baby's hair,applied ointment to L's latest scraped knee and listened to R rave about how nice daddy had been to let her go swimming again making it the best holiday Monday ever!!- I knew that it wasn't resentment for not being able to find time that I was feeling. It was in fact, resentment for needing to do all of those things that were crowding out my enjoyment of my girls.
And so I give you three magical mama moments that I was truly blessed to have experienced this weekend:
I want to cherish forever that moment when Baby C startled in her sleep, eyes flying open and then a soft smile lit up her face when she saw I was still there and she settled into sleep again. All the while I listened to my big girls laugh and chase each other outside playing the most non-sensical games.
I want to never ever forget the pure bliss I experienced waking up from a rare Sunday afternoon nap with two girls still asleep wrapped around me, my biggest girl reading at my feet-her long legs resting in mine, and Mark squeezed into the last few spare inches in the bed also reading.
I want to remember splashing in the pool with Mark holding Baby C;R and L squealing with laughter as we chased each other in the water with squeaky spray toys. And their cheers of encouragement as I swam without a flotation device to the ladder in the deep end.
The long weekend is over and I have all week to try to get to my to-do list. But more importantly I am truly blessed to have all week to spend with my girls because Mark goes to work for us. I am a lucky lady!
Sunday, 8 July 2012
We didn't buy a zoo but it feels like we're packing for a move there!
I'm hoping to take my girls to the zoo tomorrow.
Three things need to happen:my oldest child needs to fall asleep NOW; my youngest child has to promise not to try to kill me before/during/after the car ride (note to self:cut baby'sfingernails first thing in morning) and finally the temperature really has to top out at 25 degrees. It'd be fabulous if the highways were congestion free but even if we left at 3am that wouldn't happen.
To help ensure the sanity and fun factor, I’ve asked my youngest sister to come with us.
She loves the zoo. My girls love her. And its really nice to have an extra pair ofhands and eyes when it comes to shuttling three darlings through bathroom and eating routines.
I suspect that I’m actually going to lose sleep over this. I’m a planner and I have not adequately prepared for this day trip. Last year, I sent myself a half-dozen text messages in the middle of the night reminding myself of what to take. Too bad I didn’t save them! Except now I have to add a few more items to account for Baby C. On the other hand, we’ll have a stroller to dump all our stuff in. minimum I need:
- a half dozen diapers;a couple of diaper covers; wet wipes; and plastic bags
- two changes of clothes for the baby; and one for each of the big girls and myself
- Camillia for teething and a teether
- two dfferent doses of Tylenol for the big girls
- several water bottles
- nuts, dates, cereal bars, fruit, sandwiches, and juice boxes
- fully charged iPhone, because I can’t take my camera with me. It's just too hard to balance a DSLR with Baby C in arms. And, I’m admittedly bored with the animal photos that we never print and just need a few of the girls for the memory book. You
- A couple of receiving blankets which are the multi purpose superstars of my life
- And cash because the parking at the zoo is freaking expensive; I’ll definitely need coffee;the car will probably require gas; and I will buy my girls a drumstick and ride on the merry-go-round
Did I mention we only plan on being out of the house for six hours?
How long does it take you take you to get out the door with your kids? Do you take more or less stuff? And do YOU like the zoo?
Friday, 6 July 2012
Summer Holiday Hooray!
"I love my family. Summer holiday hooray. " Thats what R wrote on our unofficial summer schedule on Tuesday. Since then she's popped up in the kitchen to consult the schedule, make suggestions for changes, discuss alternatives with her sister, and request permission to create a graph based on it so she can chart her activities. Yes, she truly is my child.
Despite all appearances to the contrary, we are hoping to have a very relaxed summer.
At the same time, I'm worried that my girls won't have a great summer. But honestly, that's only when I compare myself to other mamas-real or imagined. I worry that all the other kids out there going to fabulous day camps, travelling seaside, riding their bikes to raise money for a cause and visiting every tourist attraction in the GTA plus building a treehouse.
My girls get a mama who whipped up a science experiment at 7am, face painted them, and churned homemade balsamic strawberry ice cream!! And those exclamation points are theirs because those are the things we love to do together that don't always fit in the weekends. So could I do more? Sure. Would more be exhausting and so not us? Definitely.
And that's why the thing to keep in mind is that "great" is all about perspective. I don't spend the rest of the year comparing myself to other mamas -I might borrow or learn from them so I shouldn't now. And some of that learning is recognizing that I do a pretty good job and what I do fits us!
Mark asked me if it was going to be too much for me to entertain the girls all summer. My genuine answer was twofold. One, we aren't raising kids who need to be entertained all summer And two, I'm quite possibly more excited than R that she's home for two months. In her words, " I love my family. Summer holiday hooray!"
How do you plan on spending the summer?
Despite all appearances to the contrary, we are hoping to have a very relaxed summer.
At the same time, I'm worried that my girls won't have a great summer. But honestly, that's only when I compare myself to other mamas-real or imagined. I worry that all the other kids out there going to fabulous day camps, travelling seaside, riding their bikes to raise money for a cause and visiting every tourist attraction in the GTA plus building a treehouse.
My girls get a mama who whipped up a science experiment at 7am, face painted them, and churned homemade balsamic strawberry ice cream!! And those exclamation points are theirs because those are the things we love to do together that don't always fit in the weekends. So could I do more? Sure. Would more be exhausting and so not us? Definitely.
And that's why the thing to keep in mind is that "great" is all about perspective. I don't spend the rest of the year comparing myself to other mamas -I might borrow or learn from them so I shouldn't now. And some of that learning is recognizing that I do a pretty good job and what I do fits us!
Mark asked me if it was going to be too much for me to entertain the girls all summer. My genuine answer was twofold. One, we aren't raising kids who need to be entertained all summer And two, I'm quite possibly more excited than R that she's home for two months. In her words, " I love my family. Summer holiday hooray!"
How do you plan on spending the summer?
Thursday, 5 July 2012
The guys at the door
Firstly, I'm writing this via my iPhone app for the first time so please excuse the errors until I get a chance to review from my laptop and get used to the app. It's a short one because I couldn't resist.
So here's my question: in the era of smartphones, did the guy at the door wanting to come inside with his maintenance man-to inspect the household's HVAC ( which for the record I know stands for heating, vacuum, and air condition without needing to look it up) system really think I was going to let him come in? Dude, I looked up your company that you were pretending was a government inspection unit, while you were standing in front of me!! And the fact that you didn't have a business card or a badge? C'mon,take a lesson from the guys that come by at dinner time and aggressively bang on the door and try to bully us. Yes, dude, I will give you credit for being polite, only subtly pushy,and trying to incite my sense of responsibility to mother earth. But the sob story of not having your own vehicle and being dropped off to cover the neighborhood and needing to walk 4km if I really wanted a business card. That story? Not so much making me want to let you in the house.
Here's the thing, I almost never answer the front door. If I'm expecting you, then I'll know it. I'm downright aggressive about door-to-door people to the point of warning them off from a few houses down pointing to my girls and threatening wrath if their naps are interrupted (pretty sure the Wittnesses are praying for my children!). But this guy caught me in an unusually generous mood. And for that he should thank the lovely firefighter who I saw approaching the door earlier and jumped up to answer it. The firefighter even came back with coloring books for my girls. I believed him when he directed me to a website on safety. Must have been the uniform!
So here's my question: in the era of smartphones, did the guy at the door wanting to come inside with his maintenance man-to inspect the household's HVAC ( which for the record I know stands for heating, vacuum, and air condition without needing to look it up) system really think I was going to let him come in? Dude, I looked up your company that you were pretending was a government inspection unit, while you were standing in front of me!! And the fact that you didn't have a business card or a badge? C'mon,take a lesson from the guys that come by at dinner time and aggressively bang on the door and try to bully us. Yes, dude, I will give you credit for being polite, only subtly pushy,and trying to incite my sense of responsibility to mother earth. But the sob story of not having your own vehicle and being dropped off to cover the neighborhood and needing to walk 4km if I really wanted a business card. That story? Not so much making me want to let you in the house.
Here's the thing, I almost never answer the front door. If I'm expecting you, then I'll know it. I'm downright aggressive about door-to-door people to the point of warning them off from a few houses down pointing to my girls and threatening wrath if their naps are interrupted (pretty sure the Wittnesses are praying for my children!). But this guy caught me in an unusually generous mood. And for that he should thank the lovely firefighter who I saw approaching the door earlier and jumped up to answer it. The firefighter even came back with coloring books for my girls. I believed him when he directed me to a website on safety. Must have been the uniform!
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