Saturday, 13 July 2013

Creating an anniversary

Mark and I aren't married, officially.  In our minds, hearts, taxes, and the reflection of our love in our three girls, we totally are. 

The ongoing problem with not being married was not having an anniversary! A day to celebrate us. We have a first kiss day but our first date was kind of a vague 

Just under four years ago Mark dropped a samurai steel engagement ring in a box of Soma chocolate and left it on the kitchen counter. It was a random day in September, a few months after we'd just moved into our house and before L was even six months old. He said he couldn't wait until by birthday to give it to me. How awesome is that? I mean he bought me chocolate from Soma! 

We sort of started to plan out a wedding including gourmet catering of an hors doeuvre reception, an incredible photographer, and possibly holding it in Montreal with a group train ride there! 

And then I was accepted into the Midwifery program at Ryerson. And then we had another baby. And then My sweetheart decided to just plan the wedding and surprise me. I gather from our close friends he lasted a couple of weeks before he told me.

I'm thrilled to be involved because I love party planning, I'm not overly fond of surprises and the anticipation is half the fun.

The thing about getting married after you have a house, three girls, and 9 to 11 years of commitment is that it really becomes about the life you have already built together and celebrating that with the people you love and who love you. Oh and cheap! It becomes about the what you can do cheaply and whether you actually have to invite your family.

The short answer is yes you do. But I refuse to be walked down the aisle. Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad. I consider us quite close but he is so emotional I don't need my mascara running before I even get to Mark! But more importantly, we have been together for at least nine years; and the only person that gets to give this bride away is herself. It's not so much a rebellion of tradition. ( been there, done that) but an opportunity to walk into a celebration of us, together and with our girls. To be sure I didn't offend my Dad I did check in with him and he admitted "it's not really my cup of tea. But whatever you guys need I will be there for you."

While my living in sin status may not show it; I consider myself a person of strong faith. I have a few issues with the politics of the Catholic Church, but they have a few issues with my politics! So we agree to disagree. The only church i rvet wanted to get married in is fortyinutrd outside Quebev City and a revered pilgrammage site, so a logistical impossibilty. I'm more than ok that Mark, (my aethist partner who is kinder, sweeter, and more generous and more forgiving them many communion receiving Catholics I know) and I get married in the home we have created together surrounded by our family and friends. It's truly fitting and very us. And so as we plan our day, we are striving to make it very us.

Along those lines, my sweetheart of a partner is making me giggle at his eye rolling and scowling as he plans the wedding. These are all tasks he chose or rather insisted on taking on, reluctantly surrendering some tasks to me which we made final decisions on together.

Wedding invitations. Mark is designing them. Based on the look on his face here:
he'd obviously rather be chewing rusty nails. This pic is from the first week in July as he starts to design the invites for our September wedding and he appears "mildly" irritated that we don't magically own a copy if Illustrator or Photoshop and that my netbook is slow. But as a small handful of you know, those invites are actually landing on doorsteps this week. We had a lot of fun addressing them as it involved cursing the Internet for not instinctively providing us with missing unit numbers and postal codes while Mark called his parents to tell them and the resulting conversation was hysterical and involved not being congratulated; and wondering aloud if it was just going to be family. Because if there is one reason we waited this kin to get married it wasn't so we could have a kick ass pool party with our friends it was to relive every awkward and irritating dual family get together ever.

Here is a pic of him picking music for the playlists:
That is his expression whenever I actually offer up a song suggestion - at-his- request. Apparently, Bon Jovi and Bob Marley is way too common, sorry, overplayed and " I already added  Livin on a Prayer". Not  sure where it is that -we go- these artists are overplayed. But I trust him with this. So many of our early conversations and dates were around music, concerts, and dancing. I know he will generate a memorable playlist that we can dance to.

And people, there will be dancing. And tequila. And swimming. And food. Throw in thirty friends and a few family members. Add three butterscotch girls with wide grins and sparkling eyes and lots of love- sounds like a match made in heaven to me. 
I'm just hoping I learn how to tread water before September as I'm worried some over enthusiastic friend is you to throw me in the water.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely entry, thank you for sharing, I admit I shed a small tear thinking back to my own unconventional wedding, after having lived commonlaw for so many years. Best of all things to the Devotta/Medland family!